


The Punk And The Naked Girl

by RavenThePhantomThief



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Bad Seduction, Blond, But i wanted to write it, F/M, Humor, I lied, I swear, Movie References, No Smut, One Shot, Ryuji POV, Slap Stick, Stupid plot, There is no plot, cause i cant write smut, everything in this fic is bad, inappropriated, inner monologue, naked, naked girl, nude, nude girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11757795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenThePhantomThief/pseuds/RavenThePhantomThief
Summary: When Ryuji promises Ann to pick her up he can't believe what happens.





	The Punk And The Naked Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I wanted to write a fic about Yusuke and Futaba, but this came to my mind and I got distracted. I am sorry. For this fic too. I thought the idea was funny but in the end, it is a really retarded plot. I hope some people can enjoy the stupid actions and ideas the characters have in this fic. And before you ask: Yes I am a little pervert, but I try to hide it when I talk with other people. Please "enjoy" this fanfiction and I will come back soon with a real one. Bye.

I never understood why people in movies spent so much time with inner monologues. Never until now. The reason was, that they were totally bored. Bored as hell. And that's where I am right now. In boredom-hell. That isn't a word? Now it is. Everything is possible if you're trapped in the second worst form of hell. What's the first form, you ask? A place where every other person is a talking black cat that lives in your best friends school bag like a parasite that eats away all the curry and sushi that you want. But back to my monologue. Yeah, I have no idea how that works. Where should I start? Should I tell you who I am? I don't know if this is the start of a new story or the end. What if you know already a lot about me and I would just sit here and think about myself like an idiot. Maybe you already know why I'm here? That would be great, cause I don't!

"Why am I here?"

I screamed in agony and God answered me in form of an annoyed girl from another room: "Stop screaming, Ryuji!" it was hard to understand her with the loud noise of her shower. "But I am bored. I thought that you were finished when I'm here. I know we wanted to meet the others later, but I thought I could eat something first, you know?" There was a short silence that signalled me that she rolled her eyes. "It can't be more boring than sitting in school for hours!"

"Oh, do you think so? I tell you something. I am SO BORED that I started to have an INNER MONOLOGUE!"

"Well, finally you found something you can do without failing, Ryuji! I am so proud of you!"

I didn't want to tell her that I failed at having an inner monologue. Instead, I just repeated the "Scream In Agony" skill I used just a second ago. "Yeah, okay! I am finished! Hey, I forgot the clothes I prepared for today in the living room. Can you bring them to me? I believe you're sitting right next to them." And she was right. To my left, I found a shirt, a jacket, her bright red pants, some underwear and a pair of new shoes. I bet you guys were thinking that I am going to describe her underwear more, but guess what: I am not a pervert!... okay maybe I am, but I am not a perverted jerk! I don't touch some girls underwear without her allowance. And Ann trusted me to do that or she would have wanted me to leave her house until she was ready. But I have to say that my stupid teenager mind wanted to do something and see her reaction. That's why I only grabbed the shoes and went to the bathroom. I knocked and waited. "Come in. Don't try to peek!" I opened the door and heavy warm air hit my face. I looked around and spotted a white shower curtain. I know she said that I shouldn't try to look at her, but I was still a bit disappointed that you couldn't see an outline of her body through the curtain or something. While I placed the shoes in front of the curtain I looked around again, but there weren't any other interesting things in the room. I really thought that a model had more interesting things in her bathroom. I closed the door behind me and giggled. It was obvious that she would punch me for that later but I thought it was hilarious. Even more hilarious was my face a few seconds later when someone touched my shoulder. I turned around and my grin turned into a shocked expression. Not that I was scared or anything, the thing I saw was just totally unexpected. I must say that every other thing you could think about was more likely to happen than that. If Akira and Makoto appeared naked with a giant explosion and started to eat me alive to summon the entire Team of the _Phoenix Ranger Featherman R_ TV series it would be less surprising than that. You guys might think that I am exaggerating but you will understand when I describe what I saw. Ann stood in front of me. She was wearing the shoes that I brought her... and that was it. No shirt or anything, not even a towel. The strangest thing was that she did not try to hide her body or something. She just looked at me with an annoyed look on her face and her hands on her hips. God damned woman couldn't you have at least covered your nipples with duct tape or something like that! I covered my eyes and felt how my faces turned hot and red. "WHAT THE EFF ANN? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT?"

"Isn't that what you wanted? Do you think that you're funny or something? Now go out of the way, I have to get to my clothes!"

I walked backwards so that I wasn't blocking the doorway anymore. When I reached the back of the Sofa, I dropped myself on the floor and just sat there. I waited until I was sure that Ann had walked around it and was on the other side by her clothes before I opened my eyes. "I don't know how many times you watched that James Bond movie to come up with something like that. What did you expect me to do? Act like normal and walk around like this?" I wasn't sure what she wanted as an answer for this so I asked her a counter question. It was a stupid question. "Eh... who is James Blonde? An American model or something?" Ann started laughing. "So you're telling me that you did that joke with the shoes and the naked woman and you never watched _Thunderball_? So you are just a pervert, after all." Are you serious? This was the one thing that I didn't want her to think about me! God damned woman how's your brain working? Walking around all naked and now I am the pervert! What's wrong with you? "Okay, I am dressed. Turn around!" It was a strange thing to say and I was confused why she commanded me like that, but it turned out to be another trap she laid out for me. Ann sat on the couch table and looked at me. She had taken off the shoes and her pigtails were gone too. I didn't understand why she had styled her hair into pigtails while they were still wet. She crossed her legs and her hands were behind her head. She winked. I fell over and landed on my back. If this would be an anime or something like that I was sure that all my blood had already escaped from my body. "Why are you still naked? Put a shirt on or something!" She made a noise that sounded like she tried to imitate a pissed Penguin. It is a weird description I know, but that was the first thing I thought about when I heard that noise. A really pissed off penguin.

"I would but my hair is still wet."

"And you didn't notice that when you styled your hair into your pigtails?"

"I thought it was normal. Didn't I tell you that I am always wet when you're around me?"

I spit my drink across the room. Okay, I didn't have a drink I could spit or spill but if I had one I would spit it everywhere. Instead, I just exhaled more air than I had ever breathed in my entire life. What was wrong with her. Was she bitten by a perverted nudist or something? Wait that only worked for zombies right? What was going on? "Okay, I am finished. For real this time." I didn't want to look at her, but she slapped me with her hair dryer. "Stand up. We have to go! You wanted to eat something, right? I want something too and you are going to pay for it because you failed so badly."

"I failed? At what?"

"Getting my hints."

"Hints? Wait, you planned this?"

"I was flirting with you! Or do you think I dry my hair always in the living room? "

"You call that flirting? You walked around naked in front of me! That wasn't seductive or anything! To be honest you scared me with that! A burning aeroplane would be more seductive. And probably more subtle too."

"I improvised a lot of it okay! I was hoping that you would come into the shower with me!"

"So you want me to just jump in there like the guy from this Psycho movie?"

"Oh so you saw _Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho_ , but you never watched a James Bond movie? What kind of human are you?"

"I watched a lot of old horror movies with Akira the other day, okay?"

She sighed. "Fine."

Ann walked to the front door and I followed her. "Wait, you want to go eat something with me? So we have... a date?" She turned around and looked at me. "Oh no, you ruined that chance Bakamoto-Kun!" I have to say I was more impressed than mad. It was a really creative insult and she made it as if it was nothing. Either she thought about it for the entire day or she was really sharp. It was kinda sexy. Wait a moment. Did her mind turn me on more than her body? Man, I think I hang around with Akira to much and he infected me with his Makoto fetish. "Well, it is just you and me and two bowls of ramen."

"Yeah as if I would have a date in a ramen shop!" The blond girl crossed her arms. "Yeah, I know. It was a joke. So you wanted to try this banana and cherry cake from that pastry shop you mentioned a few days ago?" I grinned cause I know her face turned red. "You remember that?" I remember a lot of the things she said, but I won't tell her that now. It would be cheese... and a bit creepy. "Yes, I do. So wanna come with me. I am not a fan of cake, but I am sure I can eat a piece as long as I can eat with you. I pay for your pieces too. You let me see you naked, so I have to pay you back somehow!" Her face changed to the colour of her Phantom Thief outfit. "Don't say something like that you jerk! It sounds so lewd and naughty! Like I am used to getting paid for something like that! You can be a real jerk sometimes!"

"...But I am your jerk."

Ann started to laugh about my comment. It was a warm laugh and it made me happy. I laughed with her. It was like one of these corny romance movies she liked to watch. "Man, Ryuji. Since when are you able to say such witty things? Did Akira teach you some tricks?" "I wanted to ask you the same thing!" If you were wondering: Yes he did help me with that. This guy is the number one dude to talk about your feelings and stuff. He helped me to learn a lot about myself and other. That's why I am able to pay attention to small details like the cake she wanted. Wait did I just have a successful inner monologue? Hell yeah, today is a good day! "I think we should go. We don't want to waste too much time if we want to eat cake and meet the others in time." I just grabbed the door handle when Ann said my name. "Hey, Ryuji. If we are finished with our Phantom Thieves meeting, do you want to come back here? We could order a pizza and watch a movie or something..." She looked at me with her bright blue eyes. "I believe I own a DVD of _Thunderball_!" I smiled at her. "That's great. I really like to watch it with you."

**Author's Note:**

> I never watched "James Bond - Thunderball" or "Psycho" from Alfred Hitchcock, but these scenes are so popular I bet everybody has seen them without knowing it was from these movies. I hope you don't see me as a perverted idiot now ^^ my next FF won't be trash I swear. See you next time! Bye.
> 
> PS: This scene is a little homage to the Monogatari Series. It is Bakemonogatari Part 1: Hitagi Crab. I really love the books of the Monogatari Series. Please tell me if you get one of my stupid references without me explaining them. ^^


End file.
